One Lie

MAY CONTAIN STRONG LANGUAGE

20 January 2010 | written by Julian Kross | Fatherhood | Tags: , , , , ,
Julian Kross Julian Kross

I’m growing tired of parents who insist on encouraging children who obviously suck, and then make excuses when they fail. You get one lie. Lie to me or the kid. If you tell your kid he can be a doctor and then explain to me the reason he sweeps the floor in a sock factory is because he was sick for a month in the 2nd grade, you’re fucking with the natural order of the universe.

I honestly don’t mind hearing your excuses as long as you give them to me in front of the kid. But I get really aggravated when little Keanu Diesel is eating cereal with his feet and you whisper to me it’s because he fell off the bed and landed on his head when he was eight months old. Maybe that wasn’t the cause of his problems. Maybe that was the first sign that he’s a dumb motherfucker. Admit this to yourself and the rest of us will stop clenching in fear every time your teenage water head walks past a lawnmower.

At the same time lets all admit no one can be anything they want to be. Obama can be president but he wouldn’t make it three days running a go cart track in Myrtle Beach. The eight year old that spent his parent’s lot rent on the same track will never be president. His parents work in the mill and hate being told what to do so they come home everyday and the roles reverse and now they’re the boss and they get to tell him what to do so they control every aspect of his life conditioning him to be unable to function effectively without someone else in charge until he finally realizes his father’s main function in life was to hold his spot at the mill.

One lie people. Anything else is all yin and no yang.

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