Spanky Brown

man this last weekend … well lemme start this way . Hang on , this next period will be the last one you see for a minute . Wednesday night I had a show at Side Splitters Knoxville , left from the club about 11 pm drove to Atlanta caught a 6:20 am flight to Milwaukee that connected in Philadelphia which was  bumpier  than Stevie Wonder’s phone book  get to Philly only to have my connecting flight cancel because of weather got on the next fight to arrive at 5 pm to get a ride to Wisconsin Dells 2 hours away do the show go back to Miwaukee the next day do two nights at which I find out in the second show my return flight changed to an evening flight which does me no good as I had to be back in Knoxville to do my show … ( Sho Nuff Sunday @ Babe’s Lounge in the Howard Johnson Plaza on Kingston Pike across from West Town Mall …. in case you’re in Knoxville on a Sunday night) … luckily Justin McClure a great kid and fine  comedian and who’s Grandmother has been with Delta for a long , long time got me a buddy pass for a 5:35 am flight which at the time we did this I realize I’ve got ……… about 4 hours before that flight … got the flight after not getting bumped get to Atlanta drive back to Knoxville couldn’t sleep cause I was too tired … run around and do the show and pass out at about 11 pm … other than that I’m fine .

My point is as much money as we pay for air travel we should never have a problem . You pay for your ticket only to pay an additional $15 for your bags as if you travel with no extra clothes , and then no food on the plane … oh the give you cookies on Delta … or peanuts , but other airlines you pay for …. everything … my solution is simple …

NO MORE FLIGHT ATTENDANTS !!! … They’re not even hot anymore … you flown lately ? Most of em’ are not even hot anymore … oh some are … BUT THEY ALL OUGHTA BE !!! I’m not being sexist ladies … but c’mon … EVEN YOU LADIES DON’T LIKE EM’ EITHER !!! Not even the Golden Girls either … more like the Golden Plated Girls …I don’t care about you being old … but be nice . So I got it …

Vending machines … simple , no salaries , no attitudes … you want a snack get it your self … plus they weigh about the same as most flight attendants … so no wight and balance problems … I rather have a stale honey bun … than a package of stale non satisfying peanuts that has me thinkin’ … ” boy a honey bun would be nice about now …”

So … once again I’ve done my part to help us all … cheaper flights are just around the corner … some airline exec will read this and say ” Hmmmm … why didn’t I think of that ?” Of course that person will get a bonus fly on a private jet and eat steak on that flight … with a hot flight attendant … and I’ll be content with a honey bun … anybody got change for a dollar ? … I’m Jus’ Sayin’ …

Originally posted at http://spankybrown.net/2009/06/traveling-sux/